5 Ways To Suck At Halo Reach

Halo Reach was one of 2010′s standout games. In a year of sub-par releases, only Reach, Hot Pursuit and Smackdown vs RAW 2010 really stood out and made any lasting impression on me. Medal of Honor felt rushed, and unbalanced, Fable 3 was stripped down and dull, and Black Ops was nothing I haven’t seen before.

My primary thought when playing Reach for a good month after release, was that it was simply poor in comparison to Halo 3, which, 6 months after release, is still true. With additional features, one would think that Reach could only improve on the already stellar performance of Halo 3, but it didn’t.

One thing Reach has maintained however, albeit on a lower level than Halo 3, is that it is simply, great fun. Online is incredible, Firefight is great, Custom Games are still going strong and this game still, at its core, holds the series of values which makes Halo, Halo. Unfortunately, some of these things are annoying to the point of insanity.

Halo might be a great game series, but when it comes to online, especially Matchmaking, I sometimes wonder whether or not some of the people in my game have ever held a controller before. Online may be awesome, but here are 5 ways in which it simply isn’t, through no fault of Bungie, here are five ways to suck at Halo Reach.

"He has the Sniper, destroy him!"

One – “My gun doesn’t work, Bungie what the hell!” – Not knowing how to use Bloom.

And I ain’t talking about that guy from Pirates of the Caribbean. One of the major differences between Halo 3 and Reach was the introduction of Reticule Bloom. This means that when rapidly firing your weapon, your shots are less likely to hit and thus you must fire in controlled, methodic bursts in order to have a higher chance of scoring a kill. Bloom is a simple principle. When your reticule ‘widens’ when firing, slow it down and chill out, the person who wins a firefight is no longer who shoots first, it is who is more accurate when using Bloom. Obviously, the closer you are to an enemy, the more likely you are to hit them anyway, so if you are involved in a close quarters battle, spam away, but if not, take your time, chill out, and aim for the head.

Two – “I saw that Tank first, it’s mine!” – Teamkilling.

Need I say more? If you see a team mate holding a weapon or operating a vehicle that you want, and you attack them for it, then you are what is wrong with this game. By all means, camp your goddamn arse off and wait for the next spawn if you want it that badly, but to attack a team mate for something they rightfully claimed first? You fucking joke. Chances are, they are better than you with the Sniper anyway, so how about you wander around the map and, oh I don’t know, help the team by using the weapons you spawned with instead of being a total deadweight and losing us the match.

Three – “BRB, off to enemy base”, “Why did you take the Wraith?” – Using offensive vehicles for transport.

Flanking the enemy team is a decent tactic, if that word can even be applied to a video game. It involves taking a vehicle and driving as fast as you can to the enemy base in order to come from behind them and either take an objective or get a few quick kills. That is all well and good, but when you use your teams main offensive vehicle to do it, and then get out of it leaving it for the enemy team, you know you are a fucking idiot. Congratulations, you have just given the enemy team our Wraith and got zero kills in doing so, you absolute star.

Four – “Woah, guys, I’m flying!” – Not knowing how to use Armor Abilities.

Just like bloom, armor abilities changed the way we play Halo. Problem is, so many people don’t know how to use them properly. For instance, if you are being shot at whilst wearing a Jetpack, unless said Jetpack can get you to some aerial cover, then why fly up? You are just a floating target you berk. And use it in moderation for christ sake, don’t just fly directly upwards and then plummet to the ground to ascertain death. Sprint, you can’t go wrong with really, but Armor Lock, you can. Protip: If an enemy just grazes you from afar, using your Armor Lock completely when you could’ve easily escaped will only see him close in on you, and then kill you when you emerge. Think before you lock. And think before you Evade straight off a cliff edge, or run whilst in invisibility exposing yourself to the entire enemy team, you never know, you might just become a better player.

Five – “I can win us this game.” – Taking everything.

Ok then. So you got the Sniper rifle first, well done. But what’s this, you’re now also taking the Revenant? What the flying fuck? Can you Snipe whilst also driving? No, you can’t, so leave something for someone else you berk. What’s worse about this, is that someone who takes a vehicle and a power weapon will generally raid the enemy base, in doing so dying, and giving both vehicle and weapon to the enemy team. My god, you’re such an awesome asset to this team.

"Holy shit, flying is so awesome."

But wait, there’s more:

- You play objective games for kills - Because I obviously enjoy spending 15 minutes playing multiflag only to draw 0-0, right?

- You spawn on me when I’m sneaking into an enemy base - Thanks for blowing my cover, you twat.

- You quit - Oh no, it’s cool, I can fend off these eight enemies on my own…

However, if you:

- Edge people off the top of the Spire, ‘for the lulz’.

- Purposely waste the ammunition of a weapon a team mate is trying to TK you for, right in front of there face.

- Defend objectives like you life depended on it.

Then you, might just be the saviour of this game.

Thanks for reading.